Tuesday, October 27, 2009
the awesomeness that is anne
its high time i devote a blog post to my friend anne jackman. and i dont even know where to begin or how to do it justice, but she is pretty much the most fantastic friend one could hope for. and i dont mean that in a trite insincere way. dead seriously, she is a wonderful person and i truly am blessed that she is my friend and has been for the past 15 years or so. and here is why, in no particular order. anne doesnt try to be anything she is not. she is straight up, straight forward, what you see is what you get. i never ever have to wonder about meanings behind her words or guess what she is thinking because i know i can count on her to be honest and give it to me straight. its so hard to find that! truly. i cannot tell you how much i value that in a person. and even moreso, the ability to be straight up but not ever rude. when you go to anne's house to stay, you know you will have delicious homemade-ness in many forms. holy crap the girl ASTOUNDS me with her culinary prowess. i am not even kidding you as i type this i am dyiinnnnggg for one of the incredible pumpkin cookies with perfectly brand new freshly whipped frosting that i had when i was down at annes for the marathon this month. holy frik. amazing. see, for me, i find a recipe or two that work and use them over and over. anne has a talent and interest in finding, creating, perfecting new recipes for friends and family on a regular basis and it makes me soooo jealous! she is so supportive of all those around her even when she may not understand what or why they are doing what they are doing. (like when i came down for the marathon and she had her kids make signs and came down to the course and waited and waited for me, or when we called her the morning after a rainy night camped out in a freakin old riverbed by her house and needed a warm comfy place to go) anne has a way with words. she thinks. she forms opinions. she cares about important things and asks opinions and gives hers and does it in such an eloquent way. she is always trying to do something to improve herself or help her adorable little family. she takes care of people. but not in a babying annoying way. she is organized and on the ball, reliable-the girl doesnt know the meaning of the word flakiness which is HUGE to me. she is passionate about so many things, loves what she loves, hates what she hates, and in that sense we are absolutely two peas in a pod. as years pass, i have pondered many times the reasons i keep in touch with certain people and not with others. it really is a lot of effort to keep in touch with people, and you simply cant really stay friends with everyone. but i stay friends with anne. because every single time i go see her or talk to her, i remember how much i value her friendship. we can always pick up and talk as if no time had passed since we have seen each other, even if it has been months or longer. and it is never obligatory. it is absolutely delightful every time because she always has interesting things to say. and fun. the girl is fun and funny and clever and tells stories like no other (i absolutely nominate her as the one friend of mine that needs to have her own column in a magazine). there are sooo many other things i love about the girl and memories and reasons why she is fabulous. this post doesnt do her justice, but suffice it to say that she is an absolute gem and i hope to call her my friend always. because she IS awesome.
Monday, October 5, 2009
marathon #2 ( ie: seriously, did that just happen?)
so i was debating writing a whole blogpost about my running of the st. george marathon on saturday. i had decided no, then i looked at all the books i have about running and different runners' experiences in different races, and how much i enjoy reading about them. and i figure, at some point im gonna forget exactly how it was, so im just gonna go ahead and document it all here, beginning to end, all the crazy, ridiculousness of this last marathon, in vivid detail. i think this is a good thing cuz ive had lots of peeps ask me how the marathon was, and i just say fine, cuz i figure they are just being nice in asking. but some people (other runners) actually might want to know the mile by mile rundown, so whatever your purpose is in reading this, you can skip through and get the gist, or read every blasted word and feel like you were there. so there you go. k ill start off by saying obviously ive been preparing for this for months, and ive done one marathon before, so i knew what i was getting into. and its my own dang fault, my pain, soreness, etc. so i dont expect sympathy either, so ill say that right off the bat as well. im just gonna tell it like it was. so i spent the last week before the marathon asking for suggestions for my perfect marathon playlist, and had put together quite the awesome collection of running music, if i do say so myself. i was super excited to push play and let the tunes carry me through the red rock. theres nothing like hearing a new awesome song when you are in an unfamiliar stretch of road on a cold morning, and i was looking forward to it. (this will become important later). anywho, i drove down to the meeting spot at 3:15 am on saturday morning (they have buses to take you to the start and there were 7000 runners, so i wanted to get on the first bus), boarded the bus in the freezing cold dark, nervous but excited. i had absolutely no idea how the race was going to go, because i hadnt run for over 2 weeks. ive been having major lateral knee pain when i run for the last few months (likely caused by ilio-tibial band stress/tightening/crap-a common runners injury) and the only "cure" they say is to stretch, massage and NOT RUN. i had sorta been ignoring it for a while, figuring it would go away and when it didnt go away but got worse, i decided to just do cross training (biking, stair climbing, elliptical, weight lifting) for the last few weeks to let it rest and take lots of ibuprofen and hope for the best. everyone kept telling me not to do the race, saying it wasnt worth it. well, i simply knew that wasnt an option. i had set my sights on this for so long and worked so hard, i just had to at least attempt it or id always wonder how it would have been. also, i had done a half marathon a month earlier at very near my goal time, and although my knee hurt during the race, i was able to keep going (thanks cindy for helping in the last miles) and finish ok. granted, i couldnt walk well for a few days, but i thought it worth it. and it felt like it got better, so i thought "no permanent damage. im good to go". anywho, i simply couldnt just not do the race. no way. so anywho, we got up to the start line, pitch black, a random stretch of highway outside of st george. the time right before a race is exciting and thrillling, people everywhere, totally different (some peeps doing their 1st, some doing their 101st marathon. elite runners, rookies) but everyone is gonna go the same 26.2 miles on the same road and reach the same finish line. hopefully. so its exciting talking to everyone cuz you all understand certain aspects of the process. anywho, they had fires there to keep us warm, so we sat around for a few hours and chatted. anywho, start time came near, and i went to go drop my clothes off (you put your warm up clothes in a bag and put it on the truck and they take it to the finish for you), which i did-jacket and pants. i started walking away, and as i did, i realized that something was missing. it was my ipod shuffle. my frekin ipod shuffle that i spent forever grooming its playlist and making the perfect mix to get me through the tough miles ahead was safely tucked in my jacket pocket. NOOOOOOOO!!!! this could not be happening, i thought to myself. i ran back to the track and begged for them to let me go look for my bag and get my jacket but they said no, its too late. the runners around me as they realized the seriousness of my predicament begged the clothing drop people to let me go look for my bag. still no. and there i was. music less. with 26.2 miles of endless silent highway ahead of me. 
oh heres a pic of me at the start, moments before i took of that cursed jacket. see, can you see my poor innocent ipod just sittin there in my pocket?! arg. it took quite a while for this to sink in. i have never ever run a long run without my ipod. and i certainly didnt want to find out now how it would effect me. but i remembered reading a runners world article a few months ago that talked about adjusting to race conditions when they arent what you expect. weather, your body, sports drinks, surroundings, something can always change and "ruin" your race if you let it. so i just decided "well, i guess ill talk to people and just try to enjoy the experience" ha. well anywho, they have "pace groups"-with a pace leader that is very experienced and runs marathons at a certain pace professionally to help people be able to finish at their goal time (its a lot harder to keep a good pace than one might think) so i found the 4hour, 15 minute pace group (about 9:22 minute miles i think) and decided id just go with them and talk to the pace leader to pass the miles. so the gun went off, and 6 minutes later i crossed the start line (when there are that many runners, it takes a while to get there), and we were off. it was pitch black, but i was feeling good. i wasnt cold, and i was enjoying the thrill of starting a race. i could certainly feel the dull pain in my knee, but it was certainly endurable. so i hoped it stayed that way. i ran about the first 11 miles well, right on pace with the group. i talked with "joe" our pace leader, who has paced over 50 marathons. he was awesome and had a lot of great advice and things were going well. i felt like it might be a fantastic race. it just goes to show that you truly never ever know what will happen in a marathon. it is indeed a really really long way. and there are always ups and downs. and sometimes they come and go rather quickly. you see and hear incredibly inspiring things in the course of a marathon. you see the old timers, who have raced like 200 marathons and been to boston tons of times and just keep on trucking along and you have no idea how the are even able to do one mile with their crazy old gait, but they do! its amazing. anywho, i got behind the pace group a bit at the water stop at mile 11, and never caught back up. my whole left leg was aching and cramping, and i simply coudnt bend it to run with my normal gait. so i would start limp running, then my right leg calf suddenly spasmed and my toes started curling up, which i have never ever had happen before. it veered off the the side, and officially freaked out. i had never been in so much pain during a race and had never before wondered if i actually would be able to finish. with my toes curled and muscles spasming i almost fell over when i put my foot down. it was bizarre and im sure looked incredibly strange but entertaining from behind. so i stretched out the muscles that i could and walked as fast as i could. that was about mile 13. and i thought to myself, holy freakin crap. im only half done. and it took me 2 hours to get here. then i did the mental math to figure how long it would take the rest of the way if i walked the whole time. and that freaked me out more. plus, i knew that my friends cindy, anne and her two kids would be waiting for me to pass by. crap. so i hobble/ran/walked/jogged/lurched on. i took the ibuprofen that i had stored in my tank top. the awesome volunteers rubbed ben gay or icy hot or some goo crap on my leg for me at every aid station. (i never thought id be running past a tent with a guy standing there holding out popsicle sticks with big globs of vaseline on them, let alone that i would actually be glad to see him and take and use one of those sticks! chafing is real people. just on my arms though. so that was good). the icy hot wasnt helping as far as i could tell, i still had sharp pain all up and down my leg every time i tried to run, so they ace wrapped some ice on my knee at one station. i tried to run with that for a while, but it just got in the way so i tossed it after a mile. oh, and if youve never raced before, they have photographers all along the route that take pics, which is awesome if you are having a good race, cuz then you can buy those pics later and its cool. but if youre having a pathetic race, its humbling to see them. ya, i already saw some of my pics and well, they capture the essence of it for sure. oy vay. anywho, i continued on, with the lovely encouraging people along the street trying their best to encourage me, telling me not to stop. oh how i wanted to be able to give them something less pathetic to look at. but i just couldnt. ps, if you go cheer on runners, and you are anywhere before about mile 23, do not say "you are almost there!". cuz unless i can see the finish line, it doesnt matter, and it just gives me false hope. so at about mile 16, there was another guy hobbling on the side, and i hobbled past and he said "IT band?" ( i was wearing a strap thing above my knee that most runners would recognize as something you wear when trying to alleviate IT band issues) and i said "yup" and he said "ya , me too. i dont think im gonna make it on this one. im gonna be ridin the meat wagon in. you should come with me. if you are injured, theres no shame in riding the van in." i told him thanks but no thanks. that just was not an option. maybe it was stupid, but i just could not fathom not finishing. so anywho, i continued on, met and chatted with several other injured runners along the way, and i eventually got to the last few miles, in st george. i was overjoyed when i spotted cindy, anne and her kids with their sign. i was just so excited to see familiar faces, and especially loved that anne got so caught up in it that she started running along with me, hollering all kinds of encouraging things. so i pressed on. and i remembered something that joe, the pace leader had said, about finishing strong. he said everyone hurts at mile 20, but if you went out too fast at the beginning you will be dying. and i started wondering, and frankly am still wondering, how much pain does everyone else feel at mile 20? its interesting to think about pain threshold and whatnot, and i really started to wonder if maybe i am just weaker than other runners to not be able to keep pushing my pace when my leg hurt so bad. maybe its true that the real good ones are just the ones that can endure the most pain. well, ill never know. all i know was, i pushed as hard as i could. it was a horridly heinous physical and mental battle. and i came in at 5 hours 9 minutes, about 12 minutes slower than my first marathon. but now i know that i can go for that long without music. oh ill throw in a pic of me and my radically huge blister, which i didnt really feel muc
h and i cant believe it didnt pop. gross i know. and right now as i sit and type this, 2 days later, my legs are indeed incredibly sore, and my knee is still horrificly painful when i change positions or try to walk. so im not sure what that means. i wasnt sore at all after my first. im hopin with ice and rest from running for a while, itll clear right up and i can run the half marathon that im registered for on halloween. so, when i was out on the course, i swore to myself that i would not do another full marathon. i just kept telling myself that bodies are simply not meant to do that. especially my body. im not a naturally talented runner. i have to really push, even to be a slow runner. and when i train for marathons, things just seem to not go as planned. so either, my training plans are bad, or my body just cant tolerate it. so i swore, no more fulls. just halfs. and cross training. cuz i
enjoy that and it doesnt injure me. but now, of course, im just wondering. wondering if i did something different, tweaked things, took a different approach, healed my knee, if i could do the marathon the way i want to. or will it always end up this way? hmmmmm. so thats what im pondering. im sure this all seems insane to some of you, but i cant explain it. i just enjoy it. im addicted to running and to races. no i dont enjoy the pain and definitely not every run is a good one. but its totally awesome enough of the time to make me keep coming back for more. weird.
oh heres a pic of me at the start, moments before i took of that cursed jacket. see, can you see my poor innocent ipod just sittin there in my pocket?! arg. it took quite a while for this to sink in. i have never ever run a long run without my ipod. and i certainly didnt want to find out now how it would effect me. but i remembered reading a runners world article a few months ago that talked about adjusting to race conditions when they arent what you expect. weather, your body, sports drinks, surroundings, something can always change and "ruin" your race if you let it. so i just decided "well, i guess ill talk to people and just try to enjoy the experience" ha. well anywho, they have "pace groups"-with a pace leader that is very experienced and runs marathons at a certain pace professionally to help people be able to finish at their goal time (its a lot harder to keep a good pace than one might think) so i found the 4hour, 15 minute pace group (about 9:22 minute miles i think) and decided id just go with them and talk to the pace leader to pass the miles. so the gun went off, and 6 minutes later i crossed the start line (when there are that many runners, it takes a while to get there), and we were off. it was pitch black, but i was feeling good. i wasnt cold, and i was enjoying the thrill of starting a race. i could certainly feel the dull pain in my knee, but it was certainly endurable. so i hoped it stayed that way. i ran about the first 11 miles well, right on pace with the group. i talked with "joe" our pace leader, who has paced over 50 marathons. he was awesome and had a lot of great advice and things were going well. i felt like it might be a fantastic race. it just goes to show that you truly never ever know what will happen in a marathon. it is indeed a really really long way. and there are always ups and downs. and sometimes they come and go rather quickly. you see and hear incredibly inspiring things in the course of a marathon. you see the old timers, who have raced like 200 marathons and been to boston tons of times and just keep on trucking along and you have no idea how the are even able to do one mile with their crazy old gait, but they do! its amazing. anywho, i got behind the pace group a bit at the water stop at mile 11, and never caught back up. my whole left leg was aching and cramping, and i simply coudnt bend it to run with my normal gait. so i would start limp running, then my right leg calf suddenly spasmed and my toes started curling up, which i have never ever had happen before. it veered off the the side, and officially freaked out. i had never been in so much pain during a race and had never before wondered if i actually would be able to finish. with my toes curled and muscles spasming i almost fell over when i put my foot down. it was bizarre and im sure looked incredibly strange but entertaining from behind. so i stretched out the muscles that i could and walked as fast as i could. that was about mile 13. and i thought to myself, holy freakin crap. im only half done. and it took me 2 hours to get here. then i did the mental math to figure how long it would take the rest of the way if i walked the whole time. and that freaked me out more. plus, i knew that my friends cindy, anne and her two kids would be waiting for me to pass by. crap. so i hobble/ran/walked/jogged/lurched on. i took the ibuprofen that i had stored in my tank top. the awesome volunteers rubbed ben gay or icy hot or some goo crap on my leg for me at every aid station. (i never thought id be running past a tent with a guy standing there holding out popsicle sticks with big globs of vaseline on them, let alone that i would actually be glad to see him and take and use one of those sticks! chafing is real people. just on my arms though. so that was good). the icy hot wasnt helping as far as i could tell, i still had sharp pain all up and down my leg every time i tried to run, so they ace wrapped some ice on my knee at one station. i tried to run with that for a while, but it just got in the way so i tossed it after a mile. oh, and if youve never raced before, they have photographers all along the route that take pics, which is awesome if you are having a good race, cuz then you can buy those pics later and its cool. but if youre having a pathetic race, its humbling to see them. ya, i already saw some of my pics and well, they capture the essence of it for sure. oy vay. anywho, i continued on, with the lovely encouraging people along the street trying their best to encourage me, telling me not to stop. oh how i wanted to be able to give them something less pathetic to look at. but i just couldnt. ps, if you go cheer on runners, and you are anywhere before about mile 23, do not say "you are almost there!". cuz unless i can see the finish line, it doesnt matter, and it just gives me false hope. so at about mile 16, there was another guy hobbling on the side, and i hobbled past and he said "IT band?" ( i was wearing a strap thing above my knee that most runners would recognize as something you wear when trying to alleviate IT band issues) and i said "yup" and he said "ya , me too. i dont think im gonna make it on this one. im gonna be ridin the meat wagon in. you should come with me. if you are injured, theres no shame in riding the van in." i told him thanks but no thanks. that just was not an option. maybe it was stupid, but i just could not fathom not finishing. so anywho, i continued on, met and chatted with several other injured runners along the way, and i eventually got to the last few miles, in st george. i was overjoyed when i spotted cindy, anne and her kids with their sign. i was just so excited to see familiar faces, and especially loved that anne got so caught up in it that she started running along with me, hollering all kinds of encouraging things. so i pressed on. and i remembered something that joe, the pace leader had said, about finishing strong. he said everyone hurts at mile 20, but if you went out too fast at the beginning you will be dying. and i started wondering, and frankly am still wondering, how much pain does everyone else feel at mile 20? its interesting to think about pain threshold and whatnot, and i really started to wonder if maybe i am just weaker than other runners to not be able to keep pushing my pace when my leg hurt so bad. maybe its true that the real good ones are just the ones that can endure the most pain. well, ill never know. all i know was, i pushed as hard as i could. it was a horridly heinous physical and mental battle. and i came in at 5 hours 9 minutes, about 12 minutes slower than my first marathon. but now i know that i can go for that long without music. oh ill throw in a pic of me and my radically huge blister, which i didnt really feel muc
h and i cant believe it didnt pop. gross i know. and right now as i sit and type this, 2 days later, my legs are indeed incredibly sore, and my knee is still horrificly painful when i change positions or try to walk. so im not sure what that means. i wasnt sore at all after my first. im hopin with ice and rest from running for a while, itll clear right up and i can run the half marathon that im registered for on halloween. so, when i was out on the course, i swore to myself that i would not do another full marathon. i just kept telling myself that bodies are simply not meant to do that. especially my body. im not a naturally talented runner. i have to really push, even to be a slow runner. and when i train for marathons, things just seem to not go as planned. so either, my training plans are bad, or my body just cant tolerate it. so i swore, no more fulls. just halfs. and cross training. cuz i
enjoy that and it doesnt injure me. but now, of course, im just wondering. wondering if i did something different, tweaked things, took a different approach, healed my knee, if i could do the marathon the way i want to. or will it always end up this way? hmmmmm. so thats what im pondering. im sure this all seems insane to some of you, but i cant explain it. i just enjoy it. im addicted to running and to races. no i dont enjoy the pain and definitely not every run is a good one. but its totally awesome enough of the time to make me keep coming back for more. weird.
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