Wednesday, December 12, 2012

buying a house slash finding a husband

ok i SERIOUSLY need to stop these "i am gonna post more cuz its awesome" comments on this blog. im not big on "jinxy" stuff but i swear i do worse at posting when i make those statements. anywho, i started this post 6 months ago....so lets pick up as if it is back in June.....and I have not yet purchased my house......
(ellipses indicate that we are going back in time.....)

well people, i have finally arrived at that place where i actually WANT to be a homeowner. never until now did i really truly desire it. so i have been a looking, in earnest, and actually doing it. and man oh man, i cannot believe how it is exact-freaking-ly just like dating and trying to find that special someone. and this is probably not news to any of you out there, you wise intelligent 30 somethings. many of you (i use the word "many" liberally, as there are likely only one, perhaps two, folks reading this blog) have been through both of those experiences. and these are probably the two biggest commitments we make in life and so of course there will be parallels. but man, the creepers, the ridiculosity, the grossness, the beautiful-ness, the awkwardness, the longing, the heartbreak....its all there!! (ha, now you dont know if i was referring to dating or house-hunting when i spewed out those words, now did you.) ha. once i decide i am doing something, i do it. i go for it all out. so I have started aggressively house hunting a couple times a week (i log on to my realtors website compulsively several times a day looking for new listings, reading the specs, ruling out so many immediately based on one or two lines in the description (i promise i am still talking about houses and not online dating) (and now i am switching to past tense because this is where the post that i had started 6 months ago ended. just to clarify. ok actually i am just gonna switch between tenses here so just try to hang on for the ride. ok. onward...) we went. we searched. i looked at a lot of houses. so many had so many features that i wanted. awesome porch. incredible kitchen.  but just...not....quite....right. couldnt find it all in one package.  couldnt commit. didnt like any of them enough to even really explore the idea. then it happened. i found this amazing awesome house that I loved. the bathroom was huge with tons of counter space, big ol walk in closets, and the remodel was perfect. totally my style and taste. in the perfect area. and i tell my realtor i want to put in an offer..i want this house so bad! i have my little heart set on it...i can see my furniture on the beautiful hardwood floors. i am waiting and pining and staring at my phone....and then i get the call. its gone. under contract. several backup offers. BLAST. my hopes are dashed i am so dissapointed it was so perfect for me. exactly what i thought i wanted. but i have to forget about it and move on because i took too long to decide and they chose someone else.  but i have to move on. because i still want to buy a house. so we keep a lookin. and i get pickier about some features. and less picky about others. and my price range goes up. the value of certain features increases significantly the more houses i see. but its just not quite working out. i dont love any of them and i start to feel like maybe its just not out there, never gonna happen, and i am being unreasonable. and i think my realtor is beginning to feel the same way. in fact, i know he does because we are standing in a house and he tells me he is not sure if i am actually ready for the commitment. if i can actually see myself writing out that down payment check and signing the papers. i tell him yes i am. i am just waiting for the right house. i will know when i find it. there is one i have looked at and loved. alas, it is further south than i wanted to be. but i cant get it out of my head. i keep looking at the pictures. and i tell him, lets just go. lets just go see it. i need to see this house. and we do. and i love it. standing on the street looking at it, i fall in love. we walk in, go upstairs, and this is my house. we make the offer. there are other offers. i am nervous i am scared of the rejection. the prospect of missing out on it makes me so sad. they accept my offer. i write the check sign the papers and its a done deal. and there you go, ladies and gentleman, i bought my house. and here is the thing, it doesn't have all of those things i was looking for. no huge walk in closet. no huge counter space in the master bath. but you know what, there were all these other little things in the house that i love so much that i never knew i would have wanted or loved in a house, until i saw them here. i loved the whole house so much, i am totally fine with the things that it doesnt have. i don't even mind. the things i had dreaded and thought were the main reasons i would not like owning a home are totally not a big deal (mowing, etc) and actually sort of fun sometimes. cuz its my house. and i put work in to take care of it because i want to. and it feels sort of good to finally be committed to something. so yes this is sort of an intense, dramatic description of the home buying process. but you know what, it has really enlightened me. about myself. and of course, as i said, this pretty much describes my ideas on love and marriage and finding "the one". i sure hope it happens the same way.