zumba. are you freaking kidding me. no, no i see that you are not.

ok. sorry its been so long folks, i dont know what to tell ya. i just dont make the time to blog often. sorry. but rest assured that all kinds of fun crap has been happening and maybe ill tell you about it when youre older. ok. zumba. all i knew about zumba before tonight was that its this trendy new exercise class that is dancy/mostly salsa-y latin ish. and its supposed to be a great workout. well. peeps. i did my first class tonight. a great workout it was not. a really really good laugh it most definitely was. holy buckets. ok first off i think most zumba instructors are female. and just so you know, gayness does not necessarily a good zumba instructor make. i learned this tonight. we walked in to class, and this guy was wearing cargo pants and a leather belt, i kid you not. who works out in cargo pants and a leather belt!? and on top, a little nike sleeveless workout shirt that mostly acted as a half shirt throughout the class. especially when he raised his hands up and grabbed his head and acted all seductive. and he would not stop touching his dang bare midriff. yes folks. every cliche icky sassy sexy move that is normally attributed to less than savory female dancers-he had it going on. all of it. he began with a series of silly step outs with SHIMMIES. ooohhh so many shimmies. but not regular flavor shimmies. one arm extended, the other in ballet form shimmies. i mean, i have some dance background and im a girl. and i felt utterly ridiculous doing this move! and he looked beyond utterly ridiculous doing it. wow. but he loved it. oohhh he loved those shimmies. he took off his little microphone 2 minutes into the class. so we were left to just watching him and trying to catch on to what the crap those sassy little legs were doing beneath their cargo pant cover. and half the time it was obvious HE didnt really know what his sassy little legs were doing. homeboy did have pretty dang good rhythm and could move those hips like nobody's business....so he kinda just relied on that. and gyrating. and lest you think that i was a zumba failure, he did take the time to come sashaying through the group and gave me an encouraging little "youre doing great!". was that because i was laughing at him so he was trying to butter me up? because i looked pathetic and he thought i was laughing at myself because i was getting confused at his moves? or was it because i truly am a zumba prodigy? ill never know. but wow, i was surprised at how not shy he was about watching himself in the mirror do all his sassy moves. oh man. so ya, i am pretty sure, in speaking with others, that not all zumba classes are like this. at all. and i think it has potential to be a lot of fun. music was great, and there was a little part that we did some jive type jumpy moves that were pretty fun. we even got a little flea hopping going on. but i cannot bear the uncomfortable awkwardness i felt watching this guy up there doing that snake whatever thing over and over and shaking that booty like ive never seen. sir, im sorry, i dont like to shake it like that. it makes everything jiggle. everything. i think most girls dont like that feeling. so, im firing you, cory, as my zumba instructor. but thanks for getting me back on my blog. and giving me something to talk about besides dating. oh, and sorry peeps, still dont have a camera. but i think the mental picture is quite sufficient on this one.