jobs and work

so i had a very interesting conversation with a good friend the other night. she is a doctor and is a single woman. and dating can be very tricky for her. we talked about how sometimes it might be nice for her to date a guy without him knowing what her job is. cuz like it or not, there are all sorts of assumptions and whatnot that go along with the dr. title, as with anything else in the world (and you wouldnt believe the stories this girl has from dates-people completely alter their boundaries of what is "normal" and "acceptable" behavior and conversation on a first date when they know you are a doctor). but the thing is, how much of who we are is our job? most of us spend more of our waking hours there than anywhere else. its a huge part of our identity. but its just a job, right? to pay the bills, to live. but all the qualities that we have, who we are is developed and shaped by that job. we have to step into different roles and do things that we maybe wouldn't normally do, because the job requires it. so then we become the person that we need to be at work-but is that now the new us? or just a part we play to excel in our profession? they say you can't compartmentalize your life and that you have to be the same person (i think mostly referring to values and integrity, so maybe it doesnt completely apply to what i am speaking of) in all settings. but i dont know if thats the case. and going back to my friend who said she would like to date without guys knowing she is a doctor; can you really get to know her without knowing that? so much of who she is, her drive, dedication, discipline, intelligence, etc, is very much tied to the fact that she is a doctor. so that is incredibly impressive and attractive. but is it attractive because our society glorifies the occupation, the title...or because she herself has worked so hard to accomplish her goals? and on a side note, i think its weird that we do spend such a huge percentage of our lives at work, with people who may be good friends, but aren't really a huge part of our lives. and that those we love and care about the most, usually never see us in our work roles, doing hopefully what it is we do best. weird.

never say never

well hello there! dear friends and family how i have missed you. k before i launch into this post, im just gonna give you a glimpse into my psyche. messed up though it may be. i have had lots of good thoughts and ideas for posts in past months. but i just couldnt bring myself to just start writing them because when it is a topic that i care about, well i think that so often i just dont think i can accurately express what i am thinking or that i wont be able to do the topic justice, so i just dont start it. i just let it be. but i am committed to this one dangit.

so there is a phrase that i have found myself thinking and using a lot lately, mostly in regards to dating. and sometimes about life in general but mostly about dating. that phrase is "never say never". and that is the title of the justin beiber biographical flick. but we will get to that. but i am really a believer in the never say never idea. i have just learned that you really truly have no idea what things might happen and how things will turn out. pretty much it is never what you expect. sometimes better, sometimes worse. and with dating, wow. you just really dont know what might work out for you. back in my younger years, i would say that i would never date/marry a guy that was younger than i was. ha. ya i think we all know how that has gone. and there are many other scenarios that i, at one time, would have expected myself to freak out about and never consider as possibilities. but now i am surprised at how ok i am about these situations. i know i am being vague, but all i am saying is that with these mindset changes, i really dont think it is a matter of getting "older" and "desperate" or lowering my standards at all. i certainly dont feel that i have done that. its a matter of realizing that sometimes the unexpected is what i need. sometimes i really dont know what is best for me. and so i have to open mind and give the unexpected a shot. and sometimes people surprise you. sometimes they dont. sometimes they are exactly what you thought they were. but you just dont know so you gotta give it a shot. and in my crazy jacked up mind this also somewhat relates to what i have learned in the past 4 years of my training/running/racing craziness. you never know what you are capable of. i put the same limitations on myself as i do on other people. but seriously peeps, you can do way way more than you think you can. years ago i swore i would never ever even attempt to run a marathon. i didnt have the desire or drive. but then that desire and drive got there. somehow. and i literally did things that i never ever imagined i was capable of. and i am not anything special, that is the thing. we have got to push ourselves, push our limits to see what we really can do. sure i succumb all the time and let my brain tell me that i am too tired or weak to push up the last bit of hill. but i think i always know deep down that i could do it if i was willing to be that uncomfortable for that long. thats what its about. not a matter of capability necessarily, but willingess to be in pain, discomfort, for longer amounts of time. in my opinion thats a huge part of what makes world class athletes. obviously, incredible talent. but a part of that talent allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for a really long time. and how does this relate to justin beiber?! well folks, i think the movie is certainly a worthwhile watch. its interesting, dare i say a bit inspiring, and well, not gonna lie, there is some fun catchy concert footage. the kid is likeable for sure. but the story is simply amazing. ya there is a lot of crap in our world and a whole lot of jack-upped ness in society today. however, i do love that we are so accessible to each other. how youtube has completely morphed everything. and that it makes things like justin beiber's story possible. and the thing i love is that watching him sing, seeing how he was just absolutely a natural musical talent from childhood, and then seeing the performances, wow, its like the kid was truly born to do exactly what he is doing. i mean seriously, you cannot deny that it is an incredibly rare kid that not only has the incredible vocal and musical talent, but the confidence and just straight up guts to perform the way he does and handle the pressure of the pretty much overnight craziness that became his life. so anywho, believe it or not, i see all these items in this post as related in a very broad sense. and it is summed up i suppose in every cliche motivational speaker-y catch phrase. but its true. you just never know what you are capable of/what can happen. so never say never. and yes, for a blog post titled "never say never" i certainly used the word never a lot. im ok with it.