OK, so I started my "needs only" shopping thing on Dec 1, 2018. Yesterday was June 1, 2019. So that is the 6 month mark. Huh. It doesn't feel like that long. It has been interesting for sure, but I don't think about it that much anymore. If I do actually sit and think about it, I feel like, maybe I am not learning as many lessons as I could or should. Like, the first couple months it was so novel and whatnot, and I had all these epiphanies because I totally and completely altered my habits. Now, it is just sort of, going along. Ok, as the title indicated, I do have to come clean on a couple of things. I do want this to be a place of accountability, and I have not been 100% "needs only" for the last 6 months. I have not purchased any clothing (Ok I ordered a blouse to replace one that got ripped, but I hated the fit, so I returned it and haven't bought another. I used to wear it a ton at work, but I have plenty of others so I am fine), purses/bags, shoes, jewelry or makeup (except to replace things I ran out of). But I did buy some things that aren't really dire "needs". You guys, I was making a bunch of batches of cookies and using my old hand mixer and it stopped working. So I bought a KitchenAid mixer. I have been considering getting one for many years but never thought I needed it. I have been baking and cooking a ton more lately, so I felt it was actually a reasonable purchase, and since my hand mixer wasn't getting it done, I felt justified. My sister gave me the green light on that purchase as well. I think. Pretty sure I didn't make that up in my head..... Anywho, so there was that. And then, recently, I was on a killer solo road trip up the coast of California and I had a blast. But, something about travel brings out the spender in me. So when I was in San Francisco, I saw a beautiful hand crafted wood hairbrush....and I bought it. I have used it daily and love it, and I threw out two other brushes that it replaced (Ok, they aren't actually thrown out, they are in my holding pen, the place where I keep things that I am considering giving away. If I don't notice, think about them or want to use them for a few weeks or months, I sell them or give them away). And, I collect patches from places I go (I just finished putting all the ones from the past 20 years on a board with a quote, I really dig how it turned out!), so I bought a patch at Muir Woods and a Christmas ornament. So there you go. I've not been perfect. Aaaand, if I am being honest, I have bought a couple of things for Fitz (crate for my sister's house, fabric water bowl for hiking-so great!-used my REI dividend for that anyway) that I am not too bent out of shape about because they make my life a lot easier, are very useful, and I didn't really set any strict rules about him and things that might come up for him.
I suppose that one of the things I have noticed is that it is still possible to spend a lot of money even if you aren't buying "things", especially if you aren't paying much attention to it. I did start putting my money in other places that give me MUCH more value than a new purse or shirt (hiring a housekeeper and doing some sessions with a dating coach) so that has been wonderful. But I think I also started going out to eat more and spending more money on more expensive groceries. I think I got into a mindset of "I am not shopping, so I don't have to worry about budgeting/I can buy whatever type of food I want". But no, that spending adds up quickly, just like the other "shopping" does. So, for the next six months, I want to focus on funneling my money to places where it will do the most good. I am not changing my shopping rules, but I am going to make and stick to a budget (I know, seems ridiculous that I didn't before, but I didn't think I would need to with all the money I would be saving from not "shopping"). I am still in the process of really thinking and deciding what I want priorities to be for money that I save. But I don't have to decide that now. So that's the update.
Sunday, June 2, 2019
Sunday, February 3, 2019
My year of no shopping....so far
Weeellll hello there! When we last left our heroine, she was buying a house and dating. (I am talking about me.....I'm the heroine here. Remember how they used to use that phrase in the show Rocky and Bullwinkle? or maybe some other show? I don't know, I've heard it somewhere. Anywho, that's what I was doing in the intro there.) So now, here we are, about six years since my last post. Oh, FYI, I have decided to start using punctuation and capitalization in my blog. Ok, I will feel it out on this post and then make a decision about that. So, I am still in my house (I still love it!) and I am still dating (More on that later. And by "later" I mean maybe not ever. Or maybe next post. We'll see). But that is not our topic today, my dear friends. No, no. TODAY, we talk about shopping. Or rather the lack thereof.
So, several months ago, I happened upon a video on YouTube from a woman who was explaining why she had stopped shopping. Now, I have spent the last couple of years decluttering, editing down my possessions, reading minimalist blogs and kind of half heartedly "trying" to be a minimalist. I really wanted it. I wanted my life to be simple and unfettered by material things. I wanted to feel more content with what I had. But the part of me that wanted that was constantly battling with the shopper in me. People, I have enjoyed shopping.... a lot.....for a long time. I mean, I am a single, professional woman who has had a solid career for about 14 years. I like nice things. I have enough expendable income to buy things and not go hungry. I realize this is an incredible blessing and I am grateful. But, over the past few years, I noticed that I had been spending more and more money on clothes, purses, shoes, makeup, jewelry. I certainly used shopping as a tool to cope with feelings. I had developed patterns and habits that I was not really proud of and that did nothing to help me become the kind of person I wanted to become. And it wasn't just the shopping and the money I spent, it was the time. The time and the mental energy that I spent searching out things I wanted to buy, thinking about how I would use them, how cute they would be, etc. I felt that I was caught in this consumerism vortex and could not get out. That video had an article linked to it, one that the YouTuber had read and been inspired by. I read the article and I decided I was done with the crap. I had read many articles and seen many videos of similar themes before. I am not quite sure why it was these ones at this time that made me decide I had had enough and that I could change. But they did.
So, I won't go into too much detail (yeah, right. When have I ever held to that promise?), but I decided that I would do a year of "needs only" spending. So, maybe the title "year of no shopping" seems not true. But for me it is, because "shopping" is a pretty specific thing to me. And I know what I mean by it. What this year means for me, is that I will only buy needs. Now, I did follow the advice of the author of the article and write out a "Needs" and a "Wants" list. So starting on December 1st of 2018, I have only been buying things off the "Needs" list. The author of the article was pretty extreme because she was trying to pay off debt. That is not my goal, so our needs lists and approach to this whole thing look very different. My goal was more about reshaping my relationship with money, spending and about not mindlessly bringing more and more "stuff" into my life. Material goods that I simply didn't need. So, my needs list does include things like books, audiobooks, trips, painting supplies. That is because these are things that are important to me and are things that I want to be a part of my life. They add value to my life and are worth the money spent.
Well, if you did the math, you can see that I am through about two months of my "shopping ban". And people, it is freaking awesome. It really has not been as hard as I expected, so far. Sure I have been a little tempted by some cute things, and my awesome sister (she is doing this with me too) had to talk me out of a silicone hot chocolate cup at Target yesterday (I did a great job of justifying to her why this was a need, but she had a better argument against it and got me back on track). But truly, it has been very liberating. I really have been appreciating the things, clothing in particular, that I do have in my life. I have loved actually using the things in which I have invested so much of my hard earned money. I had gotten into a pattern where I would buy something, was excited and wore it for a few weeks (or days, if I'm being honest), but then the novelty wore off and before I knew it, I was off hunting for the "next thing". There is ALWAYS A NEXT THING. I would always think I was perfectly happy with what I had, but the more you get, the more you want. There is always something that someone will have that you will want. For me anyway. That is why I had to do something kind of extreme like this, to wake up and shock my system into seeing that there is a different way to do things. I had to stop the madness!!! And I love that now, because I know shopping isn't even an option, my mind isn't even thinking about what item my wardrobe is missing and planning on where I might look to find it, etc. I actually ENJOY wearing the things I have, I am getting good use out of them and feeling better overall that I am more in control of my spending decisions, instead of being on zombie consumer autopilot.
So, there you go. That's where I am at with this right now. It is a work in progress. And it is the reason I have decided to start posting again. To keep me honest. To document the journey (cuz I am pretty sure I am gonna go through some rough times with this), and really for me to frequently reflect on this process and what it is teaching me. So that changes are more likely to be permanent. And let me say that yes, I realize this is a first world dilemma. I realize that I am incredibly fortunate to not struggle to pay my bills each month; that I have enough money to take care of myself. I am truly grateful for that. I think that is part of what is driving this too. I had often felt sick about how stupid and irresponsible I was being with my money. I knew that life could change in a moment, and that I may not always be in the position I am in now. So I wanted to feel like I really was acting in a way that showed I was grateful for all that I had. And to me, that means being a better steward of the money that flows into my life. I'll keep ya posted.
So, several months ago, I happened upon a video on YouTube from a woman who was explaining why she had stopped shopping. Now, I have spent the last couple of years decluttering, editing down my possessions, reading minimalist blogs and kind of half heartedly "trying" to be a minimalist. I really wanted it. I wanted my life to be simple and unfettered by material things. I wanted to feel more content with what I had. But the part of me that wanted that was constantly battling with the shopper in me. People, I have enjoyed shopping.... a lot.....for a long time. I mean, I am a single, professional woman who has had a solid career for about 14 years. I like nice things. I have enough expendable income to buy things and not go hungry. I realize this is an incredible blessing and I am grateful. But, over the past few years, I noticed that I had been spending more and more money on clothes, purses, shoes, makeup, jewelry. I certainly used shopping as a tool to cope with feelings. I had developed patterns and habits that I was not really proud of and that did nothing to help me become the kind of person I wanted to become. And it wasn't just the shopping and the money I spent, it was the time. The time and the mental energy that I spent searching out things I wanted to buy, thinking about how I would use them, how cute they would be, etc. I felt that I was caught in this consumerism vortex and could not get out. That video had an article linked to it, one that the YouTuber had read and been inspired by. I read the article and I decided I was done with the crap. I had read many articles and seen many videos of similar themes before. I am not quite sure why it was these ones at this time that made me decide I had had enough and that I could change. But they did.
So, I won't go into too much detail (yeah, right. When have I ever held to that promise?), but I decided that I would do a year of "needs only" spending. So, maybe the title "year of no shopping" seems not true. But for me it is, because "shopping" is a pretty specific thing to me. And I know what I mean by it. What this year means for me, is that I will only buy needs. Now, I did follow the advice of the author of the article and write out a "Needs" and a "Wants" list. So starting on December 1st of 2018, I have only been buying things off the "Needs" list. The author of the article was pretty extreme because she was trying to pay off debt. That is not my goal, so our needs lists and approach to this whole thing look very different. My goal was more about reshaping my relationship with money, spending and about not mindlessly bringing more and more "stuff" into my life. Material goods that I simply didn't need. So, my needs list does include things like books, audiobooks, trips, painting supplies. That is because these are things that are important to me and are things that I want to be a part of my life. They add value to my life and are worth the money spent.
Well, if you did the math, you can see that I am through about two months of my "shopping ban". And people, it is freaking awesome. It really has not been as hard as I expected, so far. Sure I have been a little tempted by some cute things, and my awesome sister (she is doing this with me too) had to talk me out of a silicone hot chocolate cup at Target yesterday (I did a great job of justifying to her why this was a need, but she had a better argument against it and got me back on track). But truly, it has been very liberating. I really have been appreciating the things, clothing in particular, that I do have in my life. I have loved actually using the things in which I have invested so much of my hard earned money. I had gotten into a pattern where I would buy something, was excited and wore it for a few weeks (or days, if I'm being honest), but then the novelty wore off and before I knew it, I was off hunting for the "next thing". There is ALWAYS A NEXT THING. I would always think I was perfectly happy with what I had, but the more you get, the more you want. There is always something that someone will have that you will want. For me anyway. That is why I had to do something kind of extreme like this, to wake up and shock my system into seeing that there is a different way to do things. I had to stop the madness!!! And I love that now, because I know shopping isn't even an option, my mind isn't even thinking about what item my wardrobe is missing and planning on where I might look to find it, etc. I actually ENJOY wearing the things I have, I am getting good use out of them and feeling better overall that I am more in control of my spending decisions, instead of being on zombie consumer autopilot.
So, there you go. That's where I am at with this right now. It is a work in progress. And it is the reason I have decided to start posting again. To keep me honest. To document the journey (cuz I am pretty sure I am gonna go through some rough times with this), and really for me to frequently reflect on this process and what it is teaching me. So that changes are more likely to be permanent. And let me say that yes, I realize this is a first world dilemma. I realize that I am incredibly fortunate to not struggle to pay my bills each month; that I have enough money to take care of myself. I am truly grateful for that. I think that is part of what is driving this too. I had often felt sick about how stupid and irresponsible I was being with my money. I knew that life could change in a moment, and that I may not always be in the position I am in now. So I wanted to feel like I really was acting in a way that showed I was grateful for all that I had. And to me, that means being a better steward of the money that flows into my life. I'll keep ya posted.
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